What is EMDR therapy and how it works for people who feel stuck in painful experiences

Many people arrive at EMDR after months or years of feeling overwhelmed, stuck or disconnected from themselves, unsure why past experiences still feel so present. If you have been trying to understand what EMDR therapy is and how it works, you’re in the right place. Learning how this therapy supports the brain and body can bring clarity and hope, especially when you are longing for relief.

When people first hear about EMDR therapy, it can sound unfamiliar, yet it is one of the most researched and effective methods for healing trauma and emotional wounds. EMDR helps your brain process memories that feel stuck or too heavy, making room for grounding, ease, and emotional steadiness.

In case you’re new here, I’m Cristina Lugo, LCSW, and I support teens, young adults, and adults through affirming and culturally responsive in person therapy that blends mind-body science with your real life. Through my therapist for teenagers and adults work, I help clients understand their inner world with compassion and grounded guidance. And for those processing trauma, painful memories, or chronic emotional overwhelm, my approach as an EMDR therapist offers a structured and deeply supportive way for the mind to heal what has felt stuck for too long.

What is EMDR therapy?

EMDR therapy is a trauma-informed, evidence-based approach that supports your brain’s natural ability to heal. Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR does not require you to retell every detail of your trauma. This is often a relief for people who have tried discussing their trauma several times in therapy already. The verbal discussion about the trauma can be minimal (if the individual feels called to speak more on it they can). Instead, EMDR works with your brain and nervous system to reorganize memories that were stored during overwhelming moments. Many people describe this work as the first time they felt something inside them finally shift. 

How does EMDR therapy work in the brain?

When an experience is too stressful, frightening, or confusing, the brain cannot store the memory in a complete and integrated way. Instead, it becomes stuck in a fragmented form, which means the emotional intensity remains active even years later. Adaptive or healthy ideas or beliefs about the event remain frozen out, since the memory is too disturbing to work with by thinking and talking.



EMDR activates the brain’s natural capacity to integrate these memories. Through bilateral stimulation (stimulating the left and right brain rhythmically), the brain turns on a natural problem solving function (the AIP if you want to get nerdy) which reprocesses what once felt threatening, transforming it into something that feels safe and resolved. As these neural connections reorganize, emotional intensity fades, and the body no longer responds as if the event is still happening.

Why EMDR impacts people so deeply

EMDR is powerful because it does not force you to relive trauma. Instead, it helps your brain reorganize it. As the memory shifts, the emotional charge softens. Many clients describe EMDR as finally feeling something unlock inside them. New ideas and realizations about the event show up for them that they had never had before. The therapy reduces the weight of old experiences while helping you reconnect with a sense of safety and presence. Since it also works with your nervous system and is a form of somatic work, it also helps alleviate physical sensations associated with trauma and disturbing experiences. 

Understanding how EMDR actually works step by step

EMDR follows a structured and intentional process. This structure ensures the work stays safe, grounded, and paced at a level your mind and body can handle. You are never pushed beyond your capacity. Each phase builds on the previous one, allowing you to move into deeper healing at the right time.

The structured process that makes EMDR feel safe, guided, and deeply effective

EMDR includes phases such as preparation, grounding, identifying target memories, processing them then debriefing and integrating new realizations. Before any processing begins, you and your therapist work together to build emotional resources, a plan and a sense of internal safety. The goal is not to overwhelm you, but to support you in healing at a pace that feels manageable.

What happens during an EMDR session?

During EMDR sessions, your therapist will guide you through brief moments of focused attention on specific memories, emotions, or body sensations while using bilateral stimulation. This may include gentle eye movements, tapping, or alternating tones. These rhythmic patterns engage both hemispheres of the brain, helping to process the memory and reduce its emotional charge. At my office in Pasadena, I have equipment such as a light bar and tappers we can use. If we meet virtually, I use a software that allows you to follow a moving ball on the screen to stimulate eye movements.

Each session ends with grounding and debriefing, ensuring you leave feeling settled and supported. Clients often describe a sense of clarity after EMDR sessions and they may continue to think about new realizations afterwards.

How bilateral stimulation supports the brain’s natural healing process

A core component of EMDR involves bilateral stimulation, which engages both sides of the brain in an alternating rhythm. This can include following light across a light bar, tapping on your knees, or listening to alternating tones. Bilateral stimulation helps your brain shift from “this still feels like it is happening” to “this is something that happened, and I am safe now.”

Why grounding and stabilization matter before processing begins

Before touching any painful memory, EMDR therapy ensures you feel steady internally. Your therapist helps you develop grounding tools, calming strategies, and emotional resources so that you can enter the processing phase feeling supported. Stabilization is not optional, it is the foundation that makes EMDR healing, not overwhelming.

Is EMDR therapy effective for trauma and anxiety?

Yes. EMDR is widely recognized as one of the most effective treatments for trauma, PTSD, and anxiety-related symptoms. Research shows significant improvement in emotional regulation, reduction in intrusive thoughts, and greater resilience.

In my EMDR therapy in Pasadena work, clients often share that EMDR helps them reconnect with their sense of safety, trust, and self-compassion after years of feeling stuck in cycles of reactivity or fear.

The kinds of emotional wounds EMDR can help heal

EMDR can help integrate memories that still cause emotional pain. It softens intense reactions tied to overwhelming experiences and reduces triggers that make you feel unsafe or out of control. A common misconception is that EMDR only targets major traumas such as abuse or violence. This is not true- any upsetting or disturbing event in a person’s life can be targeted in EMDR because these events shape the beliefs that create a person’s sense of self. Some people may be surprised to learn that EMDR can target future anticipated events too such as a big performance, major exam or doing something they are afraid to do. Often these future stressors are tied to past events that we can identify together. EMDR therapy has developed to address a wide variety of psychological concerns- I write more about this on my EMDR services page.

What are the side effects of EMDR therapy?

EMDR is generally safe, but because it activates emotional processing, some people may feel temporarily tired, tearful, or reflective after sessions. These sensations are normal signs that your nervous system is integrating the work. I always remind my clients to take it easy after a particularly intense EMDR session since your brain did a lot of work in a short amount of time. A nap, meal or taking a relaxing break afterwards can help. I always debrief at the end of every EMDR session to ensure that each client feels grounded and oriented when they leave.

When EMDR processing may need to wait

Some people may need more stabilization or therapeutic treatment before beginning EMDR, especially if their nervous system is currently too overwhelmed or in crisis. Your therapist will help determine whether EMDR is right for you now or whether you need preparation first. There is a phase of EMDR that focuses on resourcing (building your emotional capacity) that you can stay in and build on until it’s appropriate to go into the processing stage. EMDR always moves at the pace of your emotional safety.

Who is EMDR therapy best for?

EMDR is effective for anyone who has experienced emotional pain, trauma, or distressing memories that still feel unresolved. It is helpful for teens, adults, and those managing anxiety, grief, chronic stress, or self-esteem struggles.

If you have tried traditional therapy and still feel stuck, EMDR can help you access more profound healing by working directly with your brain and body.

A calm space where healing begins

You do not have to carry your past alone. Healing becomes possible when you have support that meets you exactly where you are. If you feel ready to explore EMDR therapy in Pasadena, I am here to walk with you. Together, we can help you move toward steadiness, safety, and a life that feels more like your own. Reach out today to consult about whether EMDR is right for you.